Millennials: If You Can’t Join Them, Beat Them

Millennials Demand Change, Which Pisses Off Older People

Original Poster | Laura Thompson | February 23, 2016

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When society has problems, those within it seek others to blame. This is not a new concept, and it’s not one likely to end any time soon. Right now, the one being blamed is me. Well, not just me—Millennials, born 1980-1997 (depending on who you ask—I asked Google). As I write this, I’m barely a Millennial; I was raised by Baby Boomers, so it’s been a weird generational experience.

Source: AZCommerce
Source: AZCommerce

I am so damn tired of hearing about how Millennials (a) have destroyed the economy, (b) are unparalleled in their narcissism, (c) can’t cope independently from their parents, (d) have no comprehension of independence, or (e) are spectacularly lazy. Allow me to be the bearer of bad news: that’s complete bullshit and we know it.

Now, in order to solve a problem, you need to know its root (this is a structured system of cause-and-effect, because we at the Rival are professional problem-solvers). The source of this problem: the experiences of Baby Boomers with Millennials and subsequent commentary.

The idea itself is ironic: the first generation to live within the crushing existentialism of war, mass economic depression, and potential starvation, as well as the first to live with really cool kitchens and larger wardrobes, prides themselves on being the global police of narcissism and entitlement.


It’s hard to forget the 2013 issue of Time (though I can’t say the same for Time in general), whose cover read “The ME ME ME Generation,” addressing Millennials. Fellow shit-show The Week also saw an opportunity that fateful year. After noting that selfies were ridiculous and such a Millennial thing, they wrote an entire article on how to take selfies, and what not to do.

Charles Gasparino of Fox took cues from Trump, declaring that “most millennial are losers.” Jennifer Graham at the Globe regards us as spoiled trophy children who won’t be able to imagine living without spacious luxury. Clearly she has never lived in a tripled dorm, or a 2-bedroom apartment with five people (it’s actually not so bad).

All of this comes on the heels of a new Pew study. To be frank: Millennials are, statistically: more deeply in debt, poorer, and suffering from lower employment than our preceding generation. With all of these numerical realities, it is difficult to consider the candid recollections of Baby Boomers as more legitimate. Or at all, actually.

If you want to hate Millennials based on legitimate principle and not bizarre pride or old-person stigma, stop using Twitter, YouTube, Angry Birds, Candy Crush (most people who send me requests are old), Pinterest, Facebook, and Tumblr. Because these are the products of a generation called narcissistic, lazy, and dependent. Sounds funny when you put that opinion against realities, doesn’t it?

Let’s be honest though: not all Millennials are innovators. Some actually do suck. This is, really, an inevitability. But a few bad eggs hardly represent an entire demographic.

Having a work force that thinks differently, acts differently, and has different standards doesn’t make them bad—it makes them different. Different is weird, but it can be so, so good. Asking for things that make commutes easier, enable people to work from home, or allot vacation times differently would shake things up, but sometimes a shake up is exactly what you need.