I Love (Hate) The Rival

A Twist on Kanye's Jam

Sex, Drugs, Wonk & Roll | Anying Guo | April 14, 2016

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We’ve had a whirlwind of a first year here at AU. We’ve received mad hate from the acclaimed app Yik Yak (shoutout to the constant “The Rival sucks” posts) but also a lot of praise from the student population, which has been incredibly gratifying. As a final ode to our killer first year at AU, I’ve written a spoken word entitled “I Love The Rival,” a parody of Kanye’s own “I Love Kanye.” In order to truly have the best experience reading, try to read it to the tune of the original song and channel all your negative feelings for our beloved publication in doing so. Enjoy:


I really hate The Rival, straight from the ‘Go Rival

With that fake soul Rival, had no set goals Rival

I hate the new Rival, the super cynical Rival

The always rude Rival, not even real news Rival

I miss the old Rival, Buzzfeed-knockoff Rival

I gotta say, they’re not real journalism Rival

See, I never read Rival, it’s no Eagle ‘Rival’

And now I look and look around and there’s so many Rivals

I used to tolerate Rival, now I hate Rival

I even made my own fake news site, thought I was Rival

I even wrote anon hate letters, thought I killed Rival

What if the Rival wrote a post, about the Rival?

Called it “I Fucking Hate The Rival,” man that would be so Rival!

But we’re still news and AU actually loves Rival

And we love you like the Rival loves Rival.

Here’s the link for the original song:

And finally, it doesn’t matter if you hate us, love us, or wanna fuck (with) us, we’re here to stay and we hope you do too.