In honor of Sex Week, here are six scenario centric playlists can help you “get it on” (Gaye, 1973).
For the sensitive individual who cries after sex and/or immediately calls their mother:
- I Don’t Wanna Cry by Mariah Carey
- Someone Like You by Adele
- Have You Ever Seen The Rain by Creedence Clearwater Revival
- (the rain being your tears, ofc)
- Take Care by Drake ft Rihanna
- I mean while you’re at it, just listen to all of early Drake until the crying subsides
For those who just met at a frat party:
- Do I Wanna Know by Arctic Monkeys
- I mean do you /really/ want to know each other’s names?
- Drunk In Love by Beyonce
- There’s a statistic somewhere about how a lot of hook ups stem from drunken behavior, so this iconic track seems appropriate.
- Last Friday Night (T.G.I.F.) by Katy Perry
- Should Have Said No by Taylor Swift
- I Just Had Sex by The Lonely Island
- I mean you guys did. So why not celebrate?
- Sober by Childish Gambino
- Hopefully you will be fully sober the morning after.
For the person who is sleeping with their boss, just for kicks:
- Wicked Games by The Weeknd
- Bad Girls by M.I.A.
- You’re living fast, but hopefully not dying young (maybe of immorality but that’s neither here nor there).
- Honey, I’m Good by Andy Grammer
- This bubbly pop confection can turn the sourest of moods into the sweetest.
- She Don’t Have To Know by John Legend
- Spooky Mormon Hell Dream from The Book Of Mormon
- A reminder that the Mormons (read: Mitt Romney) look down upon your sin with sadness.
- S&M by Rihanna
For the pseudo-intellectual who keeps little recognized shitty Russian literature in their back pocket:
- I Love Kanye by Kanye West
- Gotta keep that cockiness on LOCK.
- The entirety of Vampire Weekend’s discography
- That’s it. That’s literally it.
For those who are about to sleep with the ex they never tell anyone about:
- Crazy Bitch by Buckcherry
- Don’t by Ed Sheeran
- Self-explanatory, don’t you think?
- F**ckin’ Problems by A$AP Rocky
- What you’re going to have the morning after.
- The Worst by Jhene Aiko
- This sensual little tune covers up the fact that you hate each other.
- Cry Me A River by Justin Timberlake
- Because someone is bound to still have feelings in this situation.
- Sorry by Justin Bieber
- Honestly, it is too late. Move on. Pls.
For the consenting individuals who just want a classic sexy playlist:
- Thinkin’ About You by Frank Ocean
- @ Frank Ocean, where is your new album. Please write back. We are starved.
- Adorn by Miguel
- Pillowtalk by ZAYN
- Pony by Ginuwine
- Magic Mike XXL Soundtrack
- Let me be clear, XXL is the superior Magic Mike movie, do not fight me on this.
- Ride by SoMo
- Adore You by Miley Cyrus
- Climax by Usher
- No Diggity by Blackstreet ft Dr. Dre