Oddly Specific Sexy-Time Playlists

Pick your poison and enjoy

Sex, Drugs, Wonk & Roll | Anying Guo | March 4, 2016

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In honor of Sex Week, here are six scenario centric playlists can help you “get it on” (Gaye, 1973). 


For the sensitive individual who cries after sex and/or immediately calls their mother:

  • I Don’t Wanna Cry by Mariah Carey
  • Someone Like You by Adele
  • Have You Ever Seen The Rain by Creedence Clearwater Revival
    • (the rain being your tears, ofc)
  • Take Care by Drake ft Rihanna
  • I mean while you’re at it, just listen to all of early Drake until the crying subsides

For those who just met at a frat party:

  • Do I Wanna Know by Arctic Monkeys
    • I mean do you /really/ want to know each other’s names?
  • Drunk In Love by Beyonce
    • There’s a statistic somewhere about how a lot of hook ups stem from drunken behavior, so this iconic track seems appropriate.
  • Last Friday Night (T.G.I.F.) by Katy Perry
  • Should Have Said No by Taylor Swift
  • I Just Had Sex by The Lonely Island
    • I mean you guys did. So why not celebrate?
  • Sober by Childish Gambino
    • Hopefully you will be fully sober the morning after.

For the person who is sleeping with their boss, just for kicks:

  • Wicked Games by The Weeknd
    • Wicked, indeed.
  • Bad Girls by M.I.A.
    • You’re living fast, but hopefully not dying young (maybe of immorality but that’s neither here nor there).
  • Honey, I’m Good by Andy Grammer
    • This bubbly pop confection can turn the sourest of moods into the sweetest.
  • She Don’t Have To Know by John Legend
  • Spooky Mormon Hell Dream from The Book Of Mormon
    • A reminder that the Mormons (read: Mitt Romney) look down upon your sin with sadness.
  • S&M by Rihanna
    • Just in case, yanno. 

For the pseudo-intellectual who keeps little recognized shitty Russian literature in their back pocket:

  • I Love Kanye by Kanye West
    • Gotta keep that cockiness on LOCK.
  • The entirety of Vampire Weekend’s discography
    • That’s it. That’s literally it.

For those who are about to sleep with the ex they never tell anyone about:

  • Crazy Bitch by Buckcherry
  • Don’t by Ed Sheeran
    • Self-explanatory, don’t you think?
  • F**ckin’ Problems by A$AP Rocky
    • What you’re going to have the morning after.
  • The Worst by Jhene Aiko
    • This sensual little tune covers up the fact that you hate each other.
  • Cry Me A River by Justin Timberlake
    • Because someone is bound to still have feelings in this situation.
  • Sorry by Justin Bieber
    • Honestly, it is too late. Move on. Pls.

For the consenting individuals who just want a classic sexy playlist:

  • Thinkin’ About You by Frank Ocean
    • @ Frank Ocean, where is your new album. Please write back. We are starved.
  • Adorn by Miguel
  • Pillowtalk by ZAYN
  • Pony by Ginuwine
  • Magic Mike XXL Soundtrack
    • Let me be clear, XXL is the superior Magic Mike movie, do not fight me on this.
  • Ride by SoMo
  • Adore You by Miley Cyrus
  • Climax by Usher
    • 😉
  • No Diggity by Blackstreet ft Dr. Dre