There probably isn’t a single person in America who hasn’t heard the name Donald Trump (If you don’t though, you are probably the human equivalent of Patrick Star living under a rock, but I digress).
To say Trump is outspoken would be the understatement of the century. He started out as a successful businessman turned reality TV host, and now he’s running for president. Ah, democracy!
Recently, I’ve noticed the media has been fairly quiet about Trump and his bombastic behavior throughout the election season (I mean, compared to the usual constant news cycle reporting his ridiculous behavior). As the primaries come to a close, though, the media needs to step up their game and reveal Trump as the least qualified candidate to “Make America Great Again.”
So, to reignite the flame of hatred I have for Donald Trump and his (lack of) hair, I made a list of 10 things almost as horrible as Trump becoming president:
1. A 4th Kung Fu Panda movie coming out: I don’t know what the deal is, DreamWorks. I mean as much as America loves watching fat pandas while we sit and eat buttery popcorn and that ice cold Coca Cola in the theater for three hours, one Kung Fu Panda movie is enough. He’s a wise grasshopper by now, I’m sure.
2. Kim Kardashian and Kanye West making Bound 3: Imma let you finish, but Seth Rogen and James Franco had the best music video of ALL TIME. The chemistry between Rogen and Franco was straight 100% fire emoji.
3. When you’re shit drunk at McDonald’s and find out the McFlurry machine is broken (this scenario often ends with tear-soaked nuggets).
4. Running into all your Tinder matches that went wrong on campus. Every. Single. Day.
5. Justin Bieber acting in another Calvin Klein underwear commercial: Sorry, Justin, but is it too late to say sorry? Cause I’m not missing your prepubescent body in a black and white ad of you holding your small junk. Go love yourself somewhere else.
6. Taylor Swift’s squad actually taking over the world: Skinny bitches errwhere!! Take cover, they are #hot&dangerous.
7. North Korea starting nuclear war with the U.S.: Tough call between which would be worse.
8. Waking up every morning to “Damn Daniel” for the rest of your life.
9. Chipotle running out of Guacamole: Would no doubt be one of the saddest days in millennial history.
10. Realizing Trump may actually be the Republican Presidential candidate and it’s not just some big joke.